Everybody Hurts

I hate that everything never went according to plan.. I was so happy to meet my friends for a karaoke session. Just as Nura miscalled me that she's here, 'She' called to complain and scold me for not doing what I was suppose to be doing. I had forgotten to do what she told me to do. I don't want to say who 'She' is here. I just want to vent it out here. It's just a small mistake and she just scream at me like I did something SO bad.. I couldn't take it...

I felt bad leaving Nura alone when she had already arrive. I really don't like to just cancel an outing without any real reason. And I really don't want a reason for cancelling. Which just means I don't like to cancel any outing. I will feel really bad. But I'm just glad my friends understand. Nura, Yan Ting glad you guys had fun. I'm really sorry. I don't know why, this time I really felt bad cos it all sums up to my own fault. If I had done what 'She' told me to do, I'd have happily join you guys. I deserved this punishment I think, even though I really feel hurt. Sometimes I don't understand.. Why am I like this? Why can't I be good and do what 'She' says? And sometimes, I'll feel 'Why are you torturing me like this?' and sometimes I feel I'm the right one, sometimes I'm the bad one... I really don't understand.. Even though I know, everything happens for a reason, but it just hurt thinking of what the reason is..

Even though I always tell myself to be positive, it just hurt to hide the negative feelings away...